An Expedition of Discovery.

So today I discovered I bury my anger. That, and I'm uncomfortable with masculinity. I also possess a keen insight into my modes of operation. One which is swiftly departing.

I am socially insecure, and so emotionally punish myself for faux pas. I possess a remarkable conscious understanding and control of my internal operations, and yet at the same time I am unable to express myself completely. I fluctuate between what are almost two polar opposites.

In another's words, I am both the sloth and the dolphin. Although, you can never be both simultaneously. I am always one with the capacity for the other.

Here quantum physics would take the stage, inserting variables such as cosmic clocks and universal time. Such concepts confound the brain!

The intellect. Such a double edged sword, being both aware of the positives and flaws of every mode of action, being informed by culture to always make the 'right' choice, and yet at the same time being aware that there is never a 'right' choice.

I think I may go to Tibet. It could be liberating. Although, I know that I will have found liberation long before then. More importantly, a change of scenery does not invoke a change of operation. You cannot seek to change yourself through external influences, but the external surroundings may change through internal inflammation.

I can feel romantic notions stirring within my chest.