So today I discovered I bury my anger. That, and I'm uncomfortable with masculinity. I also possess a keen insight into my modes of operation. One which is swiftly departing.
I am socially insecure, and so emotionally punish myself for faux pas. I possess a remarkable conscious understanding and control of my internal operations, and yet at the same time I am unable to express myself completely. I fluctuate between what are almost two polar opposites.
In another's words, I am both the sloth and the dolphin. Although, you can never be both simultaneously. I am always one with the capacity for the other.
Here quantum physics would take the stage, inserting variables such as cosmic clocks and universal time. Such concepts confound the brain!
The intellect. Such a double edged sword, being both aware of the positives and flaws of every mode of action, being informed by culture to always make the 'right' choice, and yet at the same time being aware that there is never a 'right' choice.
I think I may go to Tibet. It could be liberating. Although, I know that I will have found liberation long before then. More importantly, a change of scenery does not invoke a change of operation. You cannot seek to change yourself through external influences, but the external surroundings may change through internal inflammation.
I can feel romantic notions stirring within my chest.
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
Monday, January 14, 2008
Welcome.
Greetings, none and all, to the blank slate that is The Consciousness Manufactory.
Realising one's own limitations is a virtue I hold in the highest esteem, and so without further ado let me articulate that this blog (though I cultivate ideas of eventual elevation from such a label) will be updated infrequently or not at all. It's energy efficient background will be splashed with few drops of paint from my palette. In fact, it's altogether possible that this may be the first and last stimulating injection this fold of the the informational metaverse ever receives.
With this I hope to communicate my ideas and perceptions without the pubescent rantings and misguided emotional and social forays that do so pepper my previous blog. I hope to explore, for my own benefit more than anyone else's, possible founding principles of the universe, consciousness, and society, and free myself of the tangled and all-pervasive web of ideological thinking bred into us from the first moment two conscious mind, islands in their own rights, attempted to form cohesive meaning and understanding.
That, after all, is where I think we first started getting it wrong, and all that has been constructed since is a consequence of that moment.
Sentience is a fickle bitch, and hopefully I find solace in nailing her to the wall.
Realising one's own limitations is a virtue I hold in the highest esteem, and so without further ado let me articulate that this blog (though I cultivate ideas of eventual elevation from such a label) will be updated infrequently or not at all. It's energy efficient background will be splashed with few drops of paint from my palette. In fact, it's altogether possible that this may be the first and last stimulating injection this fold of the the informational metaverse ever receives.
With this I hope to communicate my ideas and perceptions without the pubescent rantings and misguided emotional and social forays that do so pepper my previous blog. I hope to explore, for my own benefit more than anyone else's, possible founding principles of the universe, consciousness, and society, and free myself of the tangled and all-pervasive web of ideological thinking bred into us from the first moment two conscious mind, islands in their own rights, attempted to form cohesive meaning and understanding.
That, after all, is where I think we first started getting it wrong, and all that has been constructed since is a consequence of that moment.
Sentience is a fickle bitch, and hopefully I find solace in nailing her to the wall.
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